My life as an entrepreneur mom

Thought I'd share some of my life with everyone - by posting excerpts of an interview done with Mama Bao Bei Magazine or Motherhood(Chinese) I'm in the November/December issue under Successful Working Moms. It's in Mandarin - err. so here's the English version. I've been meaning to post an entry about balancing work and motherhood and evrything else, but that would take me forever, so this might be a faster way. It's quite long, so just read the parts that interest you. And share your thoughts!

1. What made you decide to start a business?
What made me decide was the need to have more flexible working hours so that I could be with Alison. Also, the desire to do something that I was super passionate about and that would utilize my skills and also challenge me to greater heights. I’ve wanted to start my own business for ages actually, just that the right idea had yet to come along. I also needed something that would be a viable business in the long run. Finally, Maternity Exchange was the answer.

2. Are there benefits to being a working mom who owns her own business versus a working mother who is accountable to her employer?
The best part about running your own business is that your time is flexible. If I know that the day is going to be busy with the kids, I can schedule work to be done at night, after the kids go to sleep. My meetings with staff or suppliers are always scheduled in the afternoons, between 2 to 4 pm, which is when my two kids take their nap. If I want to spend more time with my family or if an emergency crops up and say I need to take the kids to the doctor, I almost always am able to do it, as I can simply reschedule my work activities. It is unlikely that you will be able to find such flexibility working for an employer.

Another great benefit is the control I have over my career. I’m not following someone else’s orders. I make my own decisions. When I work hard, I am also working for my own company and its growth. Since Maternity Exchange is something that I am very passionate about, it is extremely satisfying investing the time and energy into it.

3. What has been most unexpected about being a working mom?
How unpredictable your day can be! Because I do a lot of work from home as well, my work plans for the day are often just messed up when my two kids do not follow their own daily routines. For instance, when my second child Angeline was born, my best laid out “to do” list was often left totally undone if she decided not to take her naps, since my whole day would have to be spent dealing with a cranky baby. Or, when the kids fell sick, as was often the case with Alison when she first started pre school. She would bring the flu bug home every few weeks and pass it to her younger sister and eventually to the maid, my husband and me. Then all work would have to be put aside to ferry everyone to the doctor and nurse everyone back to health, including myself often enough. Thankfully, the kids are 3 and 1 now, so their routines are more settled and they fall sick less often now. Before, I was often left with a backlog of things to do whenever anyone fell sick.

4. What would have been different about your working mom experiences if your business had been at a different stage?
Maternity Exchange just turned two years old, which means it’s still in the early stages. A large part of the operational aspects are still being done by me - from tending to the Maternity Exchange outlet at Marina Square- serving customers, sourcing, inventory buying, stock taking, publicity and marketing. This means that I do spend the bulk of my time on the business. If the business were at a more mature stage, and some aspects were outsourced, I believe my time could be spent more efficiently, and I could have more quality time with my children and family.

Having said that, I still feel this is better than if I were working full time under an employer, simply because I have control over how my working mom experience is like. Everyday, I face the dilemma between whether to spend all my time growing the business faster and better and whether to take time out for my family and my own health. There is only so much a person can do and it’s ultimately the person’s own choice. I always work, keeping in mind that that family and health are the most important, and the rest falls into place. If it means the business may not grow as fast as I want, so be it.


5. What's your normal day like?
645 a.m. The kids wake up, and so do my husband and me. The younger girl Angeline sleeps in our room so once she’s up, there’s no more snoozing!
8am I send my older daughter to pre-school
930- 12noon Come home to my office and catch up on admin work for the business. This is the largest chunk of quiet time I have for the day usually,
1230 to 2pm Alison comes home from school. My time is spent on lunch, entertaining the girls and together with my maid, getting the girls to take their afternoon nap.
230- 6pm Meetings with staff, suppliers, or catching up on more business duties.
630pm-8pm On days that I do not have to be in the shop, this time is always spent with my husband and the girls – dinner, reading bedtime stories, then my husband and I will each take either Ally or Angeline and soothe them to sleep. Both kids sleep by 8, so my husband Mark and I have quiet time for ourselves after. We sometimes go for walks or have dinner out.
9-11pm is spent catching up on work if necessary.
1130pm Sleep!

6. How do you manage to balance your work and family life?
It is a constant struggle. But I find keeping in mind the broader picture that my family and my health are most important helps to get my priorities right and maintain a good family-work balance. I am a natural worrier and a workaholic. So, whenever I am consumed by work and am tempted to skip meals, work late nights, skip exercise or ignore my children when they come to me for stories or hugs, I always have to remind myself that family and health come first and that will make me slow down and balance things out.

Spending some time in the morning to plan my day well also helps a great deal, to ensure I manage my time effectively and set aside time for the family and for exercise and couple time.

7. Do you have your own personal time/space?
Very little since the two girls were born! However, I do enjoy a half hour moment of “peace and quiet” in the morning when I have my breakfast. That’s when Alison is at school and Angeline is out on a morning walk with my maid. My husband and I also either bond together or do our own personal things at night after the kids go to bed at 8. I also use the time when I exercise – either swimming or running – to think and relax.

8. Has balancing working and raising children been a struggle for you and your family all along, or has it been an evolving process over time?
It used to be a bigger struggle but it has gotten better as the kids are now slightly bigger (at least they are walking! and no longer breastfeeding!). I have also learnt, through experience, to better manage my time. When the kids were just born, and the business had just begun, I remember trying to do everything from being a good mother to being a good businesswoman. And both the aspect of caring for a newborn (including breastfeeding every 3 hours even in the middle of the night) and running a new business were totally NEW to me – I fell sick half the time, like every few weeks! I also had this idea that kids had to be fully occupied and entertained when they were awake – they could not be left alone to play by themselves. So, I was very busy and very stressed!

However, I’ve learnt to plan my day better, and am open to last minute changes in my schedule since this is part and parcel of working and raising a young family at the same time. I’ve also learnt to ask for help when I need it. Since I have excellent support in my in laws and my very reliable maid – balancing work and raising children has become much more manageable now.

9. What made you decide to start a business like Maternity Exchange?
Me spending a bomb on trendy maternity clothes while I was pregnant with Alison inspired me to get into the retail business. I found imported maternity wear from fashion forward countries like the US considerably nicer than local maternity wear in terms of the variety of fabric, prints and styles. But these were also much more expensive than the local brands, often above $100 for any piece. There was also a great lack of nice evening maternity wear for functions locally.

So, I really wanted to bring all those fantastic clothes in, but I was practical and knew that I had to find a way to make it affordable too. That’s why the rental concept made perfect sense, as pregnant moms-to be can now get to wear quality imported clothes for a fraction of the price to buy it. This also means mums to be can afford to have a wider variety of clothes to wear and the best fit and style at every stage of their pregnancy. No more wearing too big or too tight maternity clothes and what’s worse, the same boring few designs to death!


10. Have you ever thought of giving up your business for your family?
If I had to make that difficult decision one day, I would give up my business for my family because family comes first. If I had nothing left in the world to my name but my family, I would be content.

11. If there were a chance, would you reconsider the decision of becoming a working mom?
No, I love working but it must be for my own business. It keeps my mind active, keeps me feeling useful and ultimately makes me a better mum. Being a stay at home mum is tough and only certain people can take the emotional challenge that goes along with taking care of the kids full time and coping with running the household. I like the balance that I have struck – working but still having the flexibility to spend time with my kids.

12. Please share your secrets of being a successful working mom.

These are some things I do to help keep me sane!
1. Keep a diary and spend some quiet time in the morning to list down the things you need to do – both work and personal. Tick off the items as you complete them. I find this helps me to manage my time better and keeps me from feeling pulled in all directions and from forgetting things. As a mum who works from home often, my kids demand attention often and can leave a mother rather frazzled if things are left to chance and are not planned and written down!
2. Be realistic. Make a list but don’t try to do so many things when you know it is just not humanly possible. Do the best you can.
3. Sleep early. Get your rest and do fit in some time to exercise. If you fall sick, everything falls apart.
4. Make sure your kids get their rest. Young babies and toddlers should have regular naps and early bedtimes, in my opinion, so they have a strong immune system and are not cranky! Their wellbeing and structure in routine will help you keep balanced and organized too!
5. Set your priorities and keep this in mind when you start to feel like there are so many things to take care of and no time to do it. For me, family and health are first and foremost, then business. So, that helps me not to overwork and lose my balance in life.
6. Ask for help if you need – don’t try to be a supermom all the time. You need to have some rest to recharge and emerge better able to handle things.

13. What advice would you give to working moms who are aspiring entrepreneurs or entrepreneurs who are aspiring mothers?
To working moms who are aspiring entrepreneurs – Go for it! The flexibility that you will get and the personal satisfaction from seeing the fruits of your labour are very worth it! Just remember starting your own business is very challenging – be prepared to work even harder than in a normal job. If your finances are ok and your children are big enough to not need as much of your time, then take the plunge! Alternatively, you can start the business, but moderate it’s growth according to the demands of your family. Start small and steady in the beginning if that helps to give you more balance.

To entrepreneurs who are aspiring mothers – having a child is going to turn your life – work and personal - upside down but nothing can replace the joy of your newborn. Just be prepared to have to slow things down on the business end when your child is born – you can easily pick things up again when life is more settled.