Having Children

Becoming a mother has been the one thing that has made my life whole and complete. Mark and I have said that we would like to have three children. One might be lonely for the first child, Two is alright, Three is just nice without being too much to handle. It would make a nice rowdy and fun-loving little bunch.

Reading Jesus Urtega's book and the section on having children got me thinking again. This quote stood out:

"Do not despise the great treasure the Lord is willing to place in your hands. Blessed are those fathers and mothers who have many children, for they are the gifts that God bestows on Christian families." - Jesus Urteaga, in his book, "God and Children.

Would I be able to open myself to having even more than three children?

I know that the Catholic Faith advocates that. Every child is a gift from God, and good Catholics should be open to new life and receive with joy any child, and as many children that God bestows on their family. The method of natural family planning practised by Catholics is advocated more to space out the timing of the births(and not to limit the number of children). The nature of how this method is carried out also encourages this philosophy of being receptive to any new child that God may give, and to also nurture a husband's and wife's respect for the sanctity of each other's bodies and an awareness of the significance behind the act of making love. It also strengthens the husband's sense of fidelity to his wife since both would have to have a period of abstinence in the period that the wife is "fertile" should they not wish to conceive at that period in time. Both parties will learn how to practise self control and inherent in this is a nurturing of the couple's fidelity to each other and the ability to resist outside temptation.

This is something Mark and I strive very hard to practise. However, I now start to wonder if after I have my third child, how open will I be to more children? I'm not sure that my heart won't sink a little should the pregnancy kit turn positive for the fourth child for instance. Don't get me wrong, we will definitely welcome the child with open arms but would I be able to be as jubilant as when I discover the first three (the ones we have planned) A big nagging thought behind all this is if I would even allow myself to get pregnant after the third child and open myself to accept whatever God has planned for me.

Of course, hey, maybe I am meant to have three. All's well that ends well. But I just thought I'd share these thoughts that I have at this point in my life.

I know there might be people who can't even see the issue here and probably are already bawking at the idea that I even want to have three kids, one too many in today's society. Some might even frown and say I am being all holy moly and that the idea of having many children is just not "realistic." Gosh, there's always the running joke that people who get pregnant on their honeymoon are probably Catholics, and it's probably because natural family planning didn't work.

Indeed,today's secular world and material concerns have given rise to many strong forces opposing one's desire to have many children. I know many Catholics who give in and use contraception even though that is a sin. Fulfiling God's directive to go forth and multiply probably does not sit well with many many people. Think about all those who would say "women are not meant to be baby making machines you know!"

Still, I try my best to be as open as possible but it is hard. I admit that I want three kids only because that in my assessment, is a good number to have without being too much of a drain on our physical and financial resources, and therefore not affect our quality of life and the personal things I want to do in life.

There will be plenty of opinions on this matter and this post is about mine as I journey on in my life and try to be a good Catholic. To be honest, I am even a little embarrassed writing this post as I know many may be surprised at how I really feel, and might scoff at how holy moly it all is. Still, something inside told me I should write this, albeit not very eloquently and knowledgeably at this point. I only hope it strikes a chord among many who choose not to have kids at all or choose to limit the number of kids for purely self centered reasons. I hope it will allow them to rethink their decision. Having children is not about simply perpetuating yourself, there is a higher purpose. For the non religious, I'd like to share that having children will make you less self centered and a better person as you strive to be a role model for them. That alone is a marvellous benefit.

Ok, I shall end this post here and hopefully as I grow in my faith, my ideals will become clearer and my convictions stronger. Happy Easter to everyone!