It's been five days since my shop Maternity Exchange opened and I've been working there everyday from 10am to 9pm. I love the buzz of doing something challenging again, after a long hiatus from work. But I really miss my baby.
When I get home at night, she has already gone to bed. When I look at her angelic face, I really feel like waking her up and hugging and smothering her face with kisses. But that wouldn't be nice. So all I can do is stare at her longingly, quietly.
It's funny. When I am at home just taking care of her, I used to think sometimes that I needed to do something more intellectually stimulating. Don't get me wrong. I loved being at home with Ally. I knew everything abut her and I witnessed every new milestone. And she loved me lots- I am always the first person she wants.
I am still the first person she wants now. But now ( and I know this is supposed to be a good thing), she functions just as well with others like my maid and my in laws. And I feel a sense of sadness actually because I love her clinging to me. :) I'll complain about it before but really I love it. Heh.
Now that her one year birthday is around the corner, it dawned on me that she might be walking soon. And that I might miss it! Ahhhhh. I'll have to hear about it second hand from someone else.
Alas. I am not regretting my decision to set up my own business. I am just musing. I'll find a way to balance things out... just re-adjusting now.
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4 comments:
wow, from being home full-time to being in the shop 10-9! that's drastic. frankly, though i miss work, i'm too chicken to go back to it. not because of the work but at the thought of leaving day. think ur being v brave, and its all for the best in the long run because this (the shop) is your dream you are pursuing.
Thanks for the encouragement eve and sher! I guess I have to just find the balance. Another consequence of me being in the shop so long is that my milk supply suddenly dropped a lot too! And Ally now only gets milk from me in the morning. SO drastic the change. I have kind of weaned her when I didn't even intend to. Hmmm.
ya i was going to ask u how the bfeeding is going... ya its very hard when ur gone so long. never mind, she's quite old already! r u giving her formula milk then?
Yup, she gets formula when I'm gone and sometimes milk that I pumped before going to bed.And she's not that interested in breastfeeding anymore.I think because there's not much milk. Oh dear.
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